Petunia Evans and the Seven Steps to Happiness
by APhoenixRising
Summary: Riddled with jealousy over her perfect sister, Petunia leaves the castle and finds herself with the help of a huntsman and seven little rules. Snow White!AU


**Written for the Quidditch League Competition: Round 12, the As Many As You Want Competition, the Open Category Competition: AU, the Great Maze Chall/Comp. and the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp: quail**

**Quidditch League:**

**Round 12**: Fairytale Dabbling

**Captain**: Snow White

**Word Count**: 2759

**As Many As You Want**: Petunia/Vernon, Lily, Mirror, Vividly coloured, Rose, Visit, Incredibly close, Waterfall, Cascade, Lies, Glittering diamonds, Brighter than the sun, Undeniably beautiful, Fragments of glass, Bedroom, Valley, Mountain, Springtime, Smaller and smaller, Invisible, Not afraid, Desperation, Flying, Daisies, Dead roses, Thorns, Spider, Spiders and thorns, Falling, Long Winter, Flutter, You think I'm pretty, Colour, Flower, Incredibly stupid, Cup, Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that

**Petunia Evans and the Seven Steps to Happiness**

Now everyone gather round and listen intently, for this is a fairytale with an important lesson that Petunia learned the hard way.

It all started when the magic mirror said that Lily was the fairest of them all...

Wait, that's not how you're meant to start a fairytale. Let me start again, properly this time...

~o~

Once upon a time, in a land far far away there lived a King, a Queen and their beautiful two daughters. Petunia and Lily were their names, and they were incredibly close and the best of friends for years and years. Petunia was ordinary. That was the best way to describe her, really. Her mousy hair fell limp at the side of her thin face, and her eyes were a pale green that was almost grey, but she had a permanent light rose colour in her cheeks. In contrast, Lily had vividly coloured red hair and eyes so green that they pierced right through you if you stared into them.

As the girls grew older, they began to look even more different as Lily's smile, that was brighter than the sun, radiated outwards from her, making her look younger and more happy than her sullen sister whose eyes had begun to sink into her face and whose lips became more and more pursed. She was undeniably beautiful, and Petunia was plain at best. As a result of this, the King and Queen began to favour their red-headed daughter as opposed to loving them both equally.

This difference was the beginning of the rift that changed Petunia's life for good.

~o~

Have I gotten your attention so far? Don't worry, I'm just setting the scene at the moment. I'll start on the main events now.

~o~

As I was saying, Petunia began to increasingly resent her little sister as they grew into their mid-teens and she couldn't attract a single man, whereas Lily was having to turn them down. Especially that Potter boy. All Petunia wanted was for someone to tell her that she was pretty, and to ask for her hand to dance. Was that too much to ask for?

It was seemingly so, for not one man even approached her, even at the many balls and parties the King and Queen hosted. So one night, as the time was nearing midnight she snuck away from the party and went in search of solace in the vast castle. It wasn't long before she was in a part of the castle that she'd never visited before. Cautiously she moved forwards; she was being drawn to a room that she'd never entered before. She opened the door with a loud creak and stepped inside the dusty room. It was bare except for the giant structure that was in the middle of the room, it was covered in a cloth and Petunia couldn't guess what it was. The Princess paused before the massive object, fear foremost in her mind: should she uncover the object or leave it be? _Lily would uncover it_, she thought and that settled her mind. She grabbed the cloth and pulled it down, causing it to cascade off the object like a waterfall. She saw the cloth pooled at her feet, but she wasn't looking down. Petunia saw her reflection, for the object was a giant mirror and she was staring right into it. Mesmerised by its sheen and the intricate artwork gilded into its frame, she gently stroked her hand over it and sung softly,

_'Mirror, Mirror, tell me true,_

_Why is Lily loved more than me?_

_Mirror, Mirror, tell me please,_

_tell me please so I can be free.'_

A silent tear fell down Petunia's cheek but she made no move to brush it away. With her head hung she couldn't see the mirror shimmer into life so she was startled when the mirror spoke back to her.

'Petunia, though it pains me to say, your parents love Lily more for she is fairer than you. The fairest in the land.' Petunia gasped. The mirror was speaking back to her, how could this be happening? Even worse, the mirror was lying to her, even after she asked it to tell her true.

'Lies!' Petunia whispered. 'Tell me the truth, mirror!' But the mirror had stilled and spoke no more. She hit out at the mirror and it shattered, raining glass over her. The shards fell down, like glittering diamonds on the dust-ridden floor. 'Please,' she whispered. Her voice cracked and she fell sobbing to the floor, kneeling in the fragments of glass that had shattered her dreams.

~o~

I bet you weren't expecting that now, were you? A magic mirror that speaks, but where is this lesson you speak of? I hear you say. Well hold on tight because this is where the story really starts.

~o~

Late that same night Petunia took the decision to leave the castle. She knew she wasn't wanted or loved before but the mirror helped her make her decision; she couldn't live in a place where she wasn't wanted because of something she couldn't control. So she packed a light bag, pulled her thick cloak around her and stole out into the night leaving the castle and all it's warm kitchens and inviting bedrooms behind.

Petunia had left the castle long behind before she turned around. It was still visible though, nestled deep in the valley of the surrounding mountains that were still white-tipped from the long winter, even with springtime not far off. She sighed deeply, and turned her back once again letting both the castle and her past become smaller and smaller fragments in her mind. She set off with determination and confidence deep within her, knowing that this was the way it was meant to be.

It wasn't long though before that confidence left her entirely. She soon remembered that she was a young woman alone in the forest at night with no food, water or shelter. The forest was becoming ever more deeper the further she walked and her feet were tripping over undergrowth and roots that were invisible to her.

'I'm not afraid,' she told herself over and over. She tried to believe it, but deep down Petunia knew that she was in danger, and that filled her heart with desperation. The elder Princess fell through a gap in the trees and suddenly she was flying...

Petunia was falling. Scenery rushed past her and colours swirled in her mind: the white of daisies, the burnt red of dead roses and green. So much green. The green of grass, the green of leaves, the green of thorns and the green of the jealousy that was boiling inside her. Eventually she stopped rolling and she stilled in a small clearing, surrounded by a thicket that blocked her view of anything else.

Once her mind stopped rolling and had caught back up to her body, she looked around at her immediate surroundings. One look told her enough, this was a dangerous place to be: roots criss-crossed the earth, the bright moonlight formed ominous shadows that were only intensified by the strange and bent tress. Spiders and thorns formed a deadly shield over the bushes, and an owl hooted.

And so our heroine curled up under her cloak, and tried to sleep in the foreign forest hoping that nothing would attack her in the middle of the night

~o~

This isn't where we wanted our Princess, is it? No, Princesses are supposed to live happily ever after with their Prince. Speaking of which, he's about to appear soon. Sorry for the spoiler but I know that's what you were wondering.

~o~

Petunia was poked awake in the morning. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw a large moustachioed man leaning over her, he didn't seem to have much neck and his small eyes peered at her suspiciously. Petunia bristled at being woken in such a way and was about to give the man a stern telling off for waking the Princess when she realised that he wouldn't believe her. Why would a Princess be sleeping in the middle of the forest under her cloak?

'You, what are you doing here?' He spoke with a gruff voice, and as he spoke he poked her in the side again.

'Do you mind, Sir. That is a little painful.' She frowned at him.

'Sir? I'm no Sir, love.' He guffawed, and his moustache twitched with every laugh that exited his mouth. Petunia was oddly mesmerised by the twitching of his moustache and was still watching it when she next spoke.

'Beg my pardon, please. What can I call you then?'

'You're a hellova well spoken person. What are ya, a Princess or something? I'm Vernon.'

'Why, yes, yes I am actually, Vernon. I am Princess Petunia.' She pulled herself up impressively.

'Nope, never heard of her. You sure you're a Princess?' He scrutinised her, looking her up and down, from the twigs in her hair to the mud adorning her shoes.

'Of course I am sure. Why wouldn't I be?'

'Well, you don't look like one if ya ask me.'

'I know I don't at this very moment. I ran away last night and I ended up here, could you please help me up, Sir?'

'I told ya, I'm no Sir.' He helped her up nonetheless and once she was stood she curtsied.

'Thank you, Si-... Vernon.'

'No problem, love. So how comes you ran away?'

'I'm not loved at home, because my sister is fairer than me.'

'Codswallop, I don't see how someone could be fairer than you, Madam.' Vernon's face turned red, from anger or embarrassment, Petunia couldn't tell.

'You... You think I'm pretty?' Petunia covered her mouth with her hand in shock and stared at the large man in a completely different way.

'You'd have to be blind not to. Now if ya don't mind, I'll be on my way.' Vernon turned and went to make his way back through the bushes, but Petunia grabbed his arm.

'Can I come with you? I can't go back home and... and that's the first time anyone has ever called me pretty.'

'If you must, 'fraid I'm not great company.'

'You're the greatest company I've ever had the pleasure of having,' Petunia said sincerely, as she hooked her arm through his. The clearing seemed a lot less dangerous in the daylight, and with her on the arm of a brave, strong man she felt light, almost happy.

~o~

This is what we like to see now isn't it? Our Princess on the arm of her Prince, even though she doesn't know it yet. Isn't it great to keep our characters in suspense? Now comes the most important part, so listen closely.

~o~

'If ya don't mind me saying, ya don't look happy.' Vernon asked her as they walked through a wheat field.

'I'm not really, I haven't been for a long time,' Petunia replied. She had no idea why she was telling a complete stranger this, but it felt right to her. 'Not since I was a little girl have I been happy. Lily, my sister, has overshadowed me since we were about ten years old. She was always better at me than everything, better at needlework, more intelligent and more beautiful.' Vernon coughed obviously, and Petunia felt a smile almost tug at her muscles. 'It just got to me, I suppose. Made me feel down but no one was ever around to make things better, so it just got worse. But tell me about you, Vernon. I'm intrigued.'

'Can't say I've heard that before. I'm a huntsman and a carpenter, I live in a small cottage just over the way. I'll take ya there now, get ya cleaned up. I'm on my own over there and it's great. All I need in life is with me out here.'

'You're on your own? How can you be happy living a life of solitude?' Petunia sounded confused as she spoke.

'It's easy once ya know where to find happiness. I'll show ya. Out here, ya don't talk all that much, so it's easy to listen more. Nature is beautiful to listen to, try it now.' He stopped their walk and cocked his head to the side. Petunia copied his stance and strained her ears. At first she heard nothing but the breathing of Vernon and herself but then she heard the cawing of birds, the swish of the grass and even the dancing of the wind.

'It's beautiful!' Petunia gasped

'Told ya so. Living alone can be lonely, but I've got meself 7 rules I live by and they help. That's the first one, talk less and listen more. It's amazing the peace ya feel when you just stop and listen.'

'Tell me the rest, Vernon, please.'

'I'll do better than that, I'll show you!' He grabbed Petunia's hand and pulled her towards a shallow stream. Vernon pulled off his socks and shoes and bounded in. 'Come on in, it's great!'

'I'm good, thank you. I'll just watch,' Petunia replied, as she made to set herself on a large rock.

'That's rule number two: watch less, do more. So you're coming in!'

'Oh, no, I really don't think-' Her words were cut off as Vernon took her by the waist and lifted her into the water. She shrieked as the first drops of icy cold water touched her skin. 'It's so cold!'

'Ya get used to it. Now rule three: complain less and appreciate more. Don't complain about the cold, appreciate the fact that there's a beautiful stream here that ya can play in.'

'Princesses don't play, Vernon.'

'Well, ya need to.' He cupped some water in his hands and threw it towards Petunia who screamed and tried to dodge out the way, but fell into the stream. The icy water covered her from head to toe and she started shivering. Vernon tried to curb his laughing, but a few stray laughs appeared from under his moustache.

'Ya need to learn to smile more. That's the next rule by the way!'

'It's hard to smile when you're covered in freezing cold water.' Petunia's chattered alarmingly so Vernon covered her in his cloak.

'Let's get back to me house, I'll warm ya up a treat.'

So our heroine and her Prince made their way back to Vernon's little cottage. He pointed out all the species of flowers he knew on the way, and kept Petunia entertained when all the animals that they passed nuzzled up to him and as a quail ate food straight out his hands. Without knowing, Petunia was falling fast in love with the carpenter.

So they arrived at his quaint little cottage, and he set a fire roaring in the grate. The Princess knelt by it, warming up her hands and feet whilst all by itself her heart was warming too. Vernon re-entered the main room with a steaming cup of tea and he set it down by Petunia's side.

'So tell me more rules, Vernon,' said Petunia, as she rubbed her hands together in the light of the fire.

'Ok, one of my favourites now. Think less, feel more. Don't think about what you're doing, just do it!'

'But that's just incredibly stupid, Vernon, if you don't think before going into anything, who knows what could happen to you.'

'That's the fun of it, it keeps you on your toes and your comment there brings me onto the next one: accept more and judge less. Don't judge anything before you try it. Accept everything and you'll be flying high in no time. That leaves us with one more rule, the most important thing to live by...'

~o~

I hope you're still paying attention...

~o~

'What's the most important rule, Vernon?' Petunia asked. She turned to face him.

'Do you trust me, Petunia?' Vernon asked. Thinking back to what he'd been teaching her all afternoon, she nodded. 'Close your eyes then.' She obeyed, leaving herself to the imagination of Vernon. She was surprised, but pleased, when he grabbed her hands and placed then in his lap. 'The final rule...' he whispered in her ear, 'is to fear less and love more.' And with that, Vernon placed his lips on hers and kissed her.

~o~

So that's it folks! The Princess and her Prince have themselves a happy ever after, but this story wasn't about them, it was about you. You can find happiness even in the darkest of times, so never, ever give up.


End file.
